Passing Judgement

We have all been there.  In a store somewhere and someone is loudly talking on a cell phone, perhaps not paying attention to their children as they run around, not noticing as other people are trying to get by or reach something on a shelf around them.  Maybe even seen a couple or friends seemingly having an argument out in public.  We think how rude they are, can't they just take it inside, call them back when they are done shopping, is it really that important.  Oh we are so holier than thou.  Until you are on the other side.

Over the weekend my grandfather passed away.  He lived across the country from us and I had to make the difficult decision if I should risk flying 2000 miles away for the funeral a month into my third trimester.  Meanwhile of course life goes on.  I still have birthdays to buy for, meals to plan, events to go to.  Not that I think sitting at home moping around would do any good anyway, but it is rather difficult to do those things while your mind is elsewhere.  One of the things I had to do was go shopping with my mother, she needed winter clothes for the trip. 

Off at Kohls, I am pushing a cart and talking to the dh on the phone about whether or not I should attempt to go to the funeral.  To make matters more difficult the funeral was on Tuesday, this was Sunday.  I had to make a decision quick.  I come around a corner and someone, who was not looking, turned and almost walked into me.  She excused her self and I said it was ok.  But I was on the phone and busy getting out of the way so she and her partner probably didn't hear me.  I am hoping they didn't hear me because their reaction if they did would be just down right rude then.  The male said, "Oh never mind its ok.  Geez, some people are so rude."  I ignored it and went on with my conversation with dh.  I owed them no explanations, they were the ones not watching where they were going. 

But it made me realize all those times that I had assumed too much, I really didn't know what was going on.  I just wished people would put the phone down and pay attention already, but I never stopped to consider there are times where cell phones and conversations simply can not wait.  I am sure most times its unnecessary for people to be on the phone, that it probably could wait, but how do I know which time is which?  I hope in the future I have more patience and understanding.  Because there is nothing worse than when you already down to be kicked again. 

32 Weeks Pregnancy Update

Not the best week to update you when I look like Rudolph because I have a cold.  Aside from a cold I am very healthy; blood pressure is great, not measuring too ridiculously ahead, baby is head down and my pulse is even nice and normal. 

I did something baby related last week.  I went though the newborn diapers and got it down to a reasonable level.  I don't think any  baby needs 5 dozen diapers. Other than that I won't be doing anything else baby related for at least another month.

The birth center saga continues.  We are waiting on word how much it will cost us.  We got a letter in the mail but with no monetary amount.  So I have no idea what we will have to pay out.  On top of that we really don't like the OB that works there.  We will be seeing her for our next appt and probably decide then what to do.  Its sad that we have fought this hard to get to birth there just to be rethinking the whole idea!  The dh and I have always been on the same page on where to have our babies.  It has never wavered.  There was never any doubt, since before we conceived our first, that we would have our babies at home.  This time was different.  We both knew that it wasn't the right place.  We thought we found it with the birth center but that now seems wrong too.  The morning after our last appointment dh said he felt uneasy there.  I told him I had felt the same way, like it was wrong.  We are in agreement again, but only in that the birth center feels wrong.  We don't have much options at this point. We just don't know what to do and feel like we are gonna have to take what is available to us rather than what we really want. Any thoughts on the matter, even just well wishes, are greatly appreciated.

Confirmation

There are times as parents you just think there is no way anything you have taught your kids has stuck.  You look at their school work and wonder what it was they were thinking at the time.  They pin up their birthday list in your office 8 months before their birthday.  You have to argue with them why they need to change their clothes after its been worn for over 24 hours.  There are times you just know your words are bouncing right off their little heads. 

Then there are times you are shocked to find out they actually are listening to you.  Take for instance what I overheard in the kitchen just yesterday.  I had left my 10 year old son with my mother one day so he could go to a friends house that is around the corner from her.  They spent the day shopping and eating out before he went to his friends.  Part of this shopping was for glasses for my mother.  The following is the conversation between he and my 11 year old daughter about that part of his day:

Son: You know when I was with Grandma the other day I helped her pick out new glasses. 

Daughter: Oh yea? Did you save her a lot of money? 

Son: Yup.  She got a pair of glasses and sunglasses for less than it would have cost her at the other place just for the glasses! 

Daughter: Wow, are they nice?

Son: Yup, maybe next time we go over she will have them so you can see. 

At this point I have about fallen out of my chair.  For my daughter to go straight to the cost of the glasses and my son to be so excited that he saved money and that he helped pick out women's glasses I was shocked.  They have been paying attention all those times I have talked about saving money and getting good deals.  My mother was quite happy to have my son along too. 

A week before that we went to the zoo.  Every year we renew our year pass and get free train ride tickets and guest passes.  So we all went on the train at this visit.  The driver asks the kids questions about the animals at each stop.  Questions like What is the fastest land animal?  What is the largest land animal?  What is a Rhinos horn made of?  How do Flamingos get their pink color?  Every question the driver asked my kids were the quickest to respond and they had all the answers correct.  I was having doubts that they were learning anything, but they proved me wrong.  If they don't learn anything else they could probably work at the zoo driving the train.  Now that I know they are in fact teachable and can retain information I will be trying to teach them even more.  No, really.  I know they are smart kids.  But it did make me feel better. 

So just when you think they aren't listening, they surprise you and show you that they are in fact paying attention. 

Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery

Thats what my grandmother told me when I complained that a friend of mine went out and bought an identical pair of earings to mine.  It didn't make me feel any better but it got me to stop complaining.  Of course that wasn't the only time in life where something like that has come up.  I always tell myself something similar with pretty much the same results.  I at least stop complaining about it, but I don't feel any better about it.  I guess some people would be falling all over themselves to have people imitating them.  It makes me feel uneasy though.  Perhaps I feel if it doesn't work out for them like it has for me, they will blame me.  Which is where I am today. 

I give out lots of tips and hints for parenting, homeschooling, birth, breastfeeding, etc.  That doesn't mean I think you should run right out and implement them in your own lives.  If you think it will work for you and your family, please go ahead and use my ideas.  But don't do it because you feel guilty, because you think I must have it altogether and should be listened to, or because you wanna be like me (OMG please don't do it for that lol). I have noticed, in reading other blogs and books, that a lot of parenting advice is driven home with a pound of guilt.  I can just hear the author with a valley girl tone saying, "This is how I do it and why.  If you don't do it like me you are just stupid and not worthy of my time."  That is not me!  If I have ever come across that way I sincerely apologize. 

If you think some tips I give about eating healthy are good ideas, go ahead and use them.  Or if you think some homeschooling tips might help in your homeschooling adventure, by all means try it!  If you have tried everything you know to cope with morning sickness and are willing to try anything including my crazy ideas, please please do.  But don't do it because I have inadvertently made you feel guilty, or because you think I have my life and this parenting thing all figured out.  Cause I don't.  And don't do it because you want to be like me.  God thought one was enough of me, and He knows a lot so we should listen to that. 

However, one thing you should definitely do is click on all my links.  Just kidding. Unless you feel the need, of course. 

Things you need when you have a big family

In the course of becoming a big family there are things that come up that you need that you don't even realize, because you just don't think about it when you are an average sized family.  Just one day you are sitting there wondering why something is so darn hard and you realize its because whatever it is just is not meant for 10 or more people.  Take for instance sharpening pencils.  We are like a small business over here, we have that many people who are constantly sharpening pencils.  The 5 pack of plastic sharpeners from the dollar store just isn't gonna cut it.  We were sharpening and sharpening all day, everyday.  No one could ever find a pencil to use that was sharpened, which is an issue for a 3 yr old or 5 year old who are just learning how to use pencils let alone sharpen them.  Then it occurred to us the problem was the sharpener.  Not the pencils.   We need an industrial one.    Yea that should fix our problem.

Families start to acquire bunk beds as their family grows.  At first you think the ones with all the stuff built in will work the best.  How can it not, you get a dresser, desk and book shelf with 2 beds!  Until you try to shove another bed or 2 in that room.  Then you realize there isn't the space.  What big families need is streamlined and minimalist.  No more of this big bulky furniture.  No, its all Ikea all the time for us.  We just purchased our second set of Tromso bunks beds from Ikea.  No ladder to stick out and trip over, the metal matches any decor, (which is hilarious that anyone with 8 kids would have a decor!  What would that be called, Mega Family Kitsch?) its gender neutral, can be taken apart and stored in small spaces, and I can fit 2 in one room!  10 years ago that consideration never entered my mind.  In fact when I bought my oldest a captains bed I was thinking how great it was that he got a dresser and desk for all the space a bed took up.  Yea, right.  Try packing that thing up and moving it when you have 6 other beds to fit in a moving van.  Needless to say we sold it.

After a couple of kids you start to accumulate clothes.  Winter clothes, summer clothes, boy clothes, girl clothes.  Boxes and boxes of clothes.  You put them in closests, you put them under beds, you shove them in dressers.  You get rid of everything that can't be stain treated or patched.  You learn what you like in clothes and get rid of what you hate (snap up the back outfits for newborns?  whose bright idea was that?).  You are pregnant so much and nursing so much you don't even have normal clothes anymore...or maybe you do, in a box somewhere.  From 10 years ago, I'm sure.  They are still in style right?  So now your house is over run with storage.  What do you do with it all?  Shelves in the garage is a good start.  Shelves lining the whole wall, every wall. Yup, pretty soon your garage looks like a Target Warehouse.