For Christmas I got the kids candy canes filled with Runts. Because when you are a parent and you walk down the aisle filled with stocking stuffers you become spell bound by their cuteness. All rational thought leaves your head. No other time of the year would we look at a tube filled with candy and think, "Wow the kids will love getting sugar high off this...lets get it!" So, we have these candy canes filled with candy. I have to open them. They need to come with directions. First I tried pealing the paper off, which failed. My 6 year old said, "Maybe its because you have sausage fingers." I laughed, which embarrassed him. Finally I did get the top off, which sent candy flying in every direction. Yea, that was a great gift.
Gift #2 was not much better, and that works out to be a great pun as you keep reading. I bought these Reindeer, Santa Clauses and Snow Men that poop out candy. Not a typo, they poop out candy. Apparently the reindeer poop tastes sour. "Which poop do you like better? The red or the green?" And thats not the worst of it. They sing. Loudly. I think we were drugged. Its the only explanation.