Thursday, June 10, 2010


Being a parent is like being part of an experiment in the evolution or speech. 

First you get the babbling, where you are pretty sure your baby is a genius you just can't understand him yet.  Then comes the "Daddy, Daddy. Daddy, Daddy. DAAAADDDDYYYY." phase where you just wish they would learn another word, any word.  Only to be granted your wish when your 3 year old starts talking non stop, "There was a beetle bug in the bathroom!  Daddy stepped on it, but it had legs wiggling.  It was my beetle bug and daddy smooshed it.  I love my beetle bug, maybe its still alive..."  Pretty soon you are wondering exactly why you were wishing they could talk at all.  Pointing and grunting was working just fine. 

The non stop talking phase leads right into the whine phase.  The "I don't want to clean my room.  But maaaaaammaaaaaa....its too hard.  James made the mess too.  It was his idea. "  And you think, at least they aren't teenagers yet, cause that is supposedly the worst of all. 

And right before those teen years you get to have off the wall conversations like this one,

Daughter: "I am gonna draw a naked rooster now."

Me: "Aren't all roosters naked?"

Daughter: "No, I mean without feathers."

Me: "A featherless rooster?"

Daughter: "Yea, see?"  Holds up drawing of said featherless rooster.

Me: "It looks like a sea horse." 

Daughter: "Now I am gonna draw an overdressed rooster." 

Why not chickens? why roosters?  And why not a normal one?  You look at your daughter and realize the teenage years are not far behind. 

And when they come you get the eye rolling, head tilting, door slamming, body hunching, " I HATE YOU MOM!  You are the worst mom ever!" 

Me: "No computer for a week." 

Teen Daughter: "Whatever!"

But not to worry, after that ends they become an adult.  And you get to have conversations with them about things like marriage and babies and financial woes and job troubles.  But at least they don't whine, or talk about naked roosters. 

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