Friday, June 12, 2009

The Worst Possible Thing

Last year was a tough one for us. We lost our business which led to us loosing our house. We had our car broken into, worked for a terrible company, got scammed by another, and worst of all lost a baby. When dh told his father that "the worst possible thing" had happened his father assumed that dh meant I was pg. Talk about adding insult to injury. Understandably as to many people going through foreclosure and total bankruptcy is not the time to be adding to ones family. We certainly couldn't provide for the ones we had (and I will point out we couldn't even provide for ourselves), so it would be irresponsible to add more we couldn't "Afford". Yes, the worst possible thing that could happen would be that God would bless us with another child. Seems so contradictory. How can God claim to know what is best for me yet He is giving me this blessing I can't afford?

If we look back at Israel God continued to bless them with children even during the worst times. When they were in bondage God blessed them with great numbers of children. They were slaves, if any time is a bad time to have kids it would be then. Their numbers became so great that the Egyptians feared the Israelites would rise up against them. So Pharaoh called for all male babies to be slain. Ok, if anytime is a bad time to have kids it would be then. Yet God continued to bless them with children. Moses was born during that time. The man who led the Israelites out of bondage - he became a blessing his mother I am sure never imagined.

Yes, to us that wasn't the best time to have a child. We were under a lot of stress. We didn't know if we would be homeless. I am sure you are thinking that God didn't think it was the best time either - The lord giveth and the lord taketh away. Yes, I lost that baby but the very next mos conceived ds6. God wanted to give us a gift in our time of trouble. In your time of trouble wouldn't you want to be blessed? 3 months later Dh got a great job. We weren't homeless, life went back to normal. Ds was born and proved to be the blessing God promised that children are. Mil and Fil awwwed over the baby, saying, "Isn't it nice to have a baby around again." A baby, that if they had their way, would never have been conceived. What about the baby I lost? How was that a blessing? If it weren't for that baby I wouldn't have seen that reaction from my ils and then appreciate their reaction after ds6 was born. Because I lost that baby I realized that "the worst possible thing" is not having another child or even loosing a child - Its not trusting God with our whole lives.

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