Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Lying

As a kid I could never figure out how my parents knew when I was lying. I was sure it was some secret parent power you obtained after you had kids. I was so good at it, I convinced my friends. But gee, those parents, they are hard cookies. Now I have kids of my own and I get to watch them lie. And now I get it. No special powers were needed. If you can see, smell, hear or feel you pretty much can detect a lie a mile away. Why? Because kids are terrible liars! Sure I was a great liar to my friends, they were terrible liars too. How would they know what to look for in a lie?

Perhaps its the rush of adrenaline, or being in the middle of the forest and not being able to see the trees. Or maybe they think we are dumb. I'm not sure but for some reason kids think that we don't see what we see or hear what we hear or smell what we smell. Like when ds put on daddys cologne. The conversation went like this:

Me: "Dude you smell, did you get into daddy's cologne?"
Ds: "What cologne? I don't smell."
Me: "You do so smell. I could smell you from upstairs."
Ds: "I don't know what you are talking about. I didn't get into any cologne."
Me: "Yes, you did. Go take a shower, you are giving me a headache."

Seriously, I could smell him on a separate floor. I think he spilled the whole bottle on himself.

Then there is the seeing. A child with chocolate all over his face, still licking his finger denying they ate the last of the candy. Writing all over the wall that they blame on their baby brother or better yet the dog. Or kids denying that they got into makeup. Can you spot the lie?
Now hearing I think thats the one they think they are really good at. In reality we are just hoping and praying they do the right thing and come to us or fix the problem themselves. I love it when I hear , "Uhhhh what are we gonna do? Hide it!" You just know something is broken. And our secret weapon: the baby monitor. That thing picks up conversations from 3 rooms away.

You are thinking; how can you possibly feel a lie. If you have a boy who refuses to wash his hair and then Lies about it; you know how its possible. Water does not make grease go away, kids I guess don't know that. One loving rub on the childs noggin is enough to realize someone wasn't being truthful about that shower he took. And thats a lie the next day I would be able to smell too.

Now either kids don't realize their lies are that obvious or they just think we are stupid. Or maybe its that adrenaline and they really don't smell anything. Or maybe they forgot what they did. Yea thats it, they forgot. Makes you seriously reconsider lying doesn't it?

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