Thursday, July 16, 2009

Salespeople

We have had the worst run ins with sales people since we have been married. About 8 years ago we had a newspaper salesmen who refused to leave my front door step. I had opened the door on my way to take care of a dirty diaper. Good thing too as it turned out. After explaining to the man numerous times there was no way in Heaven above or Hell below I would buy his newspaper I finally had to show him the dirty diaper I was holding behind my back just so I could shut the door. After taking care of that I checked out my peep hole and he was still there so I called dh who was at work, who advised me to call the police if he didn't leave. Thankfully he was gone by the time I got off the phone. The fear of course being I am a woman at home, alone, with small children. He could definitely over power me. Thankfully at the time I had a metal screen door. So there was a barrier.

At our next house I wasn't so lucky. We had a door made for Giants I think. Only a custom made screen door would fit. So we put up a Beware of Dog sign and a No Soliciting Sign. I don't know how many times I opened the door to hear, "I'm not soliciting...but would you be interested in xyz?" Perhaps I was mistaken on the definition of soliciting?

Now this house I don't have a screen door either. But I didn't think I would have too much trouble with solicitors as half the houses in the area are vacant. I couldn't have been more wrong. Typically I like to keep the kids far away from the front door when someone knocks because of my first example. But maybe I was taking the wrong approach. Maybe I should have been letting the kids come see who is there.

A salesmen from a Pest Control company came to the door yesterday. I didn't want to even answer the door but darn it if I didn't have my blinds open and was sitting at my computer right next to the door. No hiding or pretending I didn't hear the door on this one. Of course all the kids immediately run up to the door and I tell them to go in the living room. My Lady dog tries to go around my legs to get at the sales men. Her barking is echoing off the walls of my tiny foyer. I am pinning her to the wall while I tell the older kids to take her out back. I now have 4 big kids screaming, "Here Lady...Come on Lady." My 3 yr old is in only underwear (have I mentioned its 110?) and they are on backwards. Hes on his hands and knees crawling between my legs. My 2 yr old is in a diaper and hes trying to climb over his brother and my legs to escape. I have a 2 mos old in my arms and in my office my 5 yr old is trying to look out the window at the sales men. I try to explain that I don't want his services but hes not getting it. I can barely hear him over the barking. Finally overcome with frustration the sales men lets out a gasp of exasperation and leaves.

The benefits to having a bunch of kids is endless. 8 Screaming, climbing, half naked kids is the fastest way to get rid of sales people. Maybe instead of No Soliciting I should have a sign that says "This home is full of small shrieking children."

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