Perhaps the best place to put a toilet paper holder is not on the side of the sink vanity.
If you have to suck the chocolate off the wrapper then you probably left it in your pocket too long.
When you are sneaking cheese, don't leave the slicer in the drawer in the fridge.
If you get dizzy spinning, then spinning with a baby will make you and him dizzy.
If at first you don't succeed, yelling at the train tracks is not going to help any.
The key to breaking something is not to leave evidence behind and go hide. Then I know who did it and what they did.
Listening to your heart is not good advice for a 3 yr old as it frequently tells them things like, "Eat all the candy."
Just because you can't see the mess doesn't mean it didn't leave a sticky residue behind.