Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Good Mom/Bad Mom

Here are a few ways to tell if you are a Good Mom, a Normal Mom or a Bad Mom.

Good Mom: Peels and cuts apple into slices.
Normal Mom: Tries to convince child that eating the apple with the skin on is better than not so she doesn't have to peel apple.
Bad Mom: Opens a can of apple pie filling.  Hey its already peeled and cut.

Good Mom: Buys multiples of childs favorite outfit and makes sure there is always a clean copy for them to wear.
Normal mom: Lets child wear same clothes for 2 days in a row so she doesn't have to fight with them to get it into the washer.
Bad mom: Lets child wear clothes for indefinite lengths of time.  Hes dressed, what more do you want?

Good Mom: Documents the mess, with pictures and details of time and date for the baby book.  Cleans up with a smile and counsels child on how to ask for help next time.
Normal Mom:  Yells some profanity.  Scrubs up the mess after texting pics of the disaster to her husband and hides the cause of the mess from her child.
Bad Mom: Leaves the mess because it blends in with the decor so well anyway.  Or instructs the child to eat the mess off the floor, cause its their dinner for the night.

Good Mom: Arranges a play date with like minded families. Serves a snack and syncs calendar with the other mom so they can schedule the next play date.
Normal Mom: Takes kids to the park and hopes there are other kids there for her child to play with.
Bad Mom: Figures there will be kids at the parole officers waiting room the next time she goes.  That counts right?

Good Mom: Has movies, snacks and a schedule of games for a sleep over.  Gives detailed report to other parents the next day during pick up.
Normal Mom: Lets kids watch movies and eat popcorn, do their hair and pass out sometime around 3 am while she is hiding her head under her pillow.
Bad Mom: My kids are where?

Good Mom: Journals the time between nursing sessions, duration of nursing and every poopy and pee diaper, just in case.
Normal Mom: Feeds baby on demand and changes all poopy and pee diapers when they happen.
Bad Mom: Still trying to figure out how to get the diapers to weigh 8-12 lbs, they always fall off before then.

Good Mom: Composes a book of poetry on her love for her child and has it self published.
Normal Mom: Tells her child she loves them.
Bad Mom: Wait. What were we talking about?

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