Why?

Kids ask us questions we almost never have an answer to.  I think its just to make us look like an idiot, they know we don't have the answer.   Or they ask us things to outright embarrass us.  Like while standing in line at the store your 5 yr old will ask why YOU need diapers.  That's always a fun one to explain in front of perfect strangers. 

A collection of Why's and our thoroughly thought out answers. 


Why do we have finger nails? To scratch.  And pick.  Mostly noses.  Sometimes belly buttons. 



Why do mommas wear diapers? We love our babies so much we wanna see what its like.  (Really its for postpartum but that would lead to whole lots of other "why" questions I don't feel like answering).

Why do boys have nipples? They are decoration, kinda like an appendix but on the outside.

Why don't we have any money? You ate it all.  Well not the money, the food we bought with the money.  I guess you could have eaten the money - would have come out the same way. (You try showing a 9 yr old your spread sheet.  Oh sure you think they are listening till you realize its the tv behind you they are intently watching.)

Why do you always have to start the dishes? So the ants don't get to it.  And so we have clean dishes to eat off of and counter space to use for other things, but mostly so ants don't get to it. (Be honest you know kids don't need dishes to eat off of)

Why do we breath? Cause if we didn't we'd die, and its fun to annoy you with our stinky coffee breath.

Why can't I play out front by myself?  Cause you are so cute someone is bound to snatch you up.  (Meanwhile you are thinking its because they will run in the street and get themselves killed but you know if you say that they will retort "No I won't." and the cycle will continue.)  

Why can't we stay up late?  Your body needs all the sleep it can get so you can grow big and strong.  When you sleep your body repairs itself.  (But we all know its because mommy and daddy want some time to ourselves)