Thursday, December 17, 2009

New Heights of Grossness

I have come to the conclusion that the more kids you have the more ways they find to gross you out.  Sadly, they can not shock me anymore.  Tonight when my daughter was complaining the boys had their hands in their butts I didn't so much as get out of my chair to assess (ha funny word choice) the situation.  Why do I want to see my boys with their hands in their butts?  Why do they put them there in the first place?  Maybe they are cold.  Perhaps I should turn on the heater.  That might just make them smell more though.

We don't observe a 10 second rule here.  I tried to make sure they didn't eat anything off the floor even if it was just 1 second.  Then I realized they would never eat.  You would think they are animals. They take the food off the plate and put it on the floor, then eat it.  I don't think my dog does that.  Is there something offensive about my plates?  My father suggested a trough, I think its also called a bowl.  Somehow I don't think that would help.  What they need is bungee food.  You take it off the plate it springs right back on there.  That is of course if they decide to eat at all.  I was informed by 3 different people at the holiday party that my son was eating his hot dog off the floor.  He was eating it, I wasn't going to take it away.  I mean eating, chewing, swallowing.  That's a major achievement around here.

And the pinnacle of grossness...picking their nose and I can not believe I am going to type this...eating it.  Oh my goodness can you get grosser than that?  The only possible reason to do this is to gross out their mother. I refuse to believe it tastes good. I might faint, did I really just say there was a possibility snot tasted good? Heaven help me.  I have how many more years before they also think thats gross?   

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