Sunday, February 7, 2010

How to buy a sofa on Craigslist

We use Craigslist for lots of things.  Have found amazing deals and made some quick cash.  However you need to know how to read the ads because things are not always what they seem. Political Spin pales in comparison to selling spin.

1. If the ad says "Like New"  that means: I have had this sofa for 10 years but 10 years is NOTHING.  10 years is like a drop in the antique bucket.  There are still sofas around from 200 years ago.  This sofa is a contender for a museum. (Yea a museum of worlds ugliest furniture.)

2.  "Good condition" means: Someone died on this sofa and there is a blood pool the size of Rhode Island on it but the rest of the sofa is great.  Just throw a blanket on that side.  Its all good. 

3. "Contemporary" means: I bought this in the early 80's convinced that Lime Green and Purple geometric prints would never go out of style. 

4. "Unique" means: You ain't seen nothing like this! Its shaped in such a way you can't actually sit on it and the color is so loud it will blind you. However it will distract people from your stained carpets and  sheets for curtains.

5. "Minor Damage, Easy Repair" actually means: There's no upholstery on 2 of the cushions but its really easy to just have it reupholstered.  I'm not paying for it, but you can!

6. "New, never used" is really: I bought this from some guy on the side of the road sure that I could turn around and make a profit.  Despite the fact that you can buy it new for less than I paid for it on the side of the road.

7. "Antique" really means: At one time this was a sofa.  Its older than old mother hubbard so I am gonna list it higher than that Mercedes I have had my eye on.  The wood itself has got to be from trees that date back to Jesus' time.  That's worth something, right?

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