Pork and Beans

I am so glad I am a woman.  If there was a chance I could loose my genitalia by zipping my privates in my pants I would never ever wear pants again.  Men don't have a choice.  Unless they want to wear button flies for the rest of their lives.

My 5 yr old had the terrible habit of not wearing underwear.  Aside from daily undie inspection I couldn't really force the issue.  I would just discover it when I did his laundry.  Or rather I would not discover them.  That all changed recently with a little episode right out of Hollywood, specifically There's Something About Mary. 

He was wearing pants that were a weeeee bit too tight.  When he couldn't get his pants zipped up he asked me to help him.  Each time I got it half way up he would bend in half and pull away from me.  I finally figured out he was trying to protect the family jewels.  So I called the Dh in to figure out how to zip him up without damaging anything.  Upon finding us in the situation the Dh had to explain to my 5 yr old how he could zip his parts right off if he weren't careful.  Then in a quick zip his pants were up and the Dh let out a gasp.

No, he didn't zip up anything.  He was just messing around.  But it proved a point to our 5 yr old, who now has been diligently wearing underwear ever since.  All it took was a little story about Pork and Beans...and a gasp.