With kids like these

Who needs to pay to see stand up?
Morning sickness never has to end!
You never regret your carpet cleaner purchase!
Who wouldn't want a dozen or 2?

My daughter and I were having a discussion about a comic she is writing - Mashed Potato Man and his League of weird.  I laughed about it and told her she was funny.  She responds, "I have daddy's sense of humor.  I just do it right."  Hmm and I think she has my reasoning abilities.

Quite  possibly the most dangerous thing to say to a mom, aside from the F-bomb, is "I'm bored."  My oldest ds said this today.  I quickly told him I had plenty for him to do, and before I could even start listing them off my youngest dd said, "Probably chores."  She must be a mind reader!  I was nice and instead of chores I let him IM grandma on my computer.  The conversation started out great:

Grandma: What are you doing?
Ds: NOTHING.  
Grandma: Thats a big nothing. 
ds:  Big words, Small world. 

I gave my 2 yr old a kiss.  Apparently I am a sloppy kisser, although dh has never complained, because he grabbed a washcloth from the drawer and wiped his face where I had kissed him.  

Ds#3 took a shower today and I caught of glimpse of his hair as he walked away from me.  The back looked dry, but the front was wet.  So I asked him if he washed his hair, and he said he did. I felt the back of his head, sure enough, dry.  I asked again if he washed his hair and he said, "I washed this part."  Pulling on the hairs on either side of his head, the wet parts.  I have to wonder what rational went through his head when he did that: "Hmm, this part of my hair is clean.  Its doesn't ALL have to be clean.  Some of clean is better than none is clean."  Actually it probably went like this. "Its too much trouble to wash all my hair.  Mom won't notice if some of its dirty." 


Whats grosser than gross?  Remember those jokes.  I have a new one.  Whats grosser than gross?  When your 2 year old has diarrhea and tries to escape during a diaper change, smearing poop on the floor.  Whats grosser than that? When your 5 yr old accidentally puts his hand in it and then smears it on the floor to get it off.