Thursday, August 6, 2009

The blessings that are curses

So I have been getting no sleep again. As I laid in bed last night telling myself to 'just go to sleep, stop thinking so much', I realized what a blessing exhaustion is when I am pg. I am not a happy pg person. Between the morning sickness and fatigue, the hormonal mood swings and stretching ligaments, the weight gain and heart burn. Yea I don't enjoy being pregnant. But lately I have realized there are certain blessings that come with those "curses".

The exhaustion is really bad. I fall asleep as soon as I sit down anywhere. I have even leaned up again the wall and fallen asleep before. I don't care how much sleep I get when I am pg. I am still tired. But when I'm not pg I stay awake. Its a no win situation. At least when I am pg I can be sure I will get some rest. There is no laying awake worrying, thinking about all I have to do. I am just out to dream land. And I need sleep more when I am growing a baby than when I am not. So what a blessing it is to not have to worry about sleep! Last night I was wishing I could just konk out like I do when I am pg.

Morning sickness haunts me. I was terrified I of getting pg again because I didn't know if I could survive another pg with ms. My ms is more like all day sickness, and it doesn't go away till the baby is born. Its worst in the first trimester but it doesn't ever really go away till I have the baby. Last time I took some advice I found on the Heppners website and cut out all sugar from my diet. My ms greatly improved. I still got dehydrated from time to time but I could function. Which is a HUGE improvement for me. Normally dh has to do everything for me. Then one blessing led to another, my
Seborrheic dermatitis cleared up when I eliminated sugar. Unfortunately as soon as the baby was born I was back on making my apple pies and brownies and it came back. But now I know how to fix it and you better believe thats a blessing. If you have ever suffered from this you know how awful it feels. My ms was a blessing!

I have not enjoyed most of my pgs. I dread getting pg then can't wait for the baby to get here, which it doesn't help I always go to 42 weeks or beyond. But I have seen the blessings that come with the curses, and my beautiful baby always makes it worth while. Being quiverfull certainly has its challenges. But without them I wouldn't be much of a testimony. Being faithful is easy when life is easy. But being faithful is more difficult when life is difficult. There is no test of faith when life is easy. My mw, whose life much parallels my own in regards to pg, was walking the same line. Worried how she would handle her ms, not sure how she could keep the faith. Because I had gone through it already and come out more faithful for it, she was uplifted. I was able to be a blessing to her as well!

I had been praying, since the birth of my last, that I would find someway to be a happier pg person. I don't think anyone should have to deal with me 10 mos out of every 18 mos miserable. And it seems everyday I find a new reason to rejoice in my pg "curses". I hope I enter the next pg much more willingly and full of faith and spend the time happy instead of miserable.



2 comments:

  1. Amen.

    I have thought through this pregnancy how if I hadn't been through all I'd been through, I would probably be stopping after this one--my first full-term pregnnacy was blissful, but the hormones are worse this time around, and the pain, and I now apparently have gallstones, and I have gestational diabetes again--but then I realized that it was to improve my testimony and refine my faith.

    Thanks for the encouragement.

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  2. You're welcome!

    Gallstones are the worst pain I have ever experienced. I think God has our body do these things to keep us healthy. I can't have sugar it makes my scalp go crazy. Can't have grease, gives me gall stones. Ok Lord, I get it - I'll eat healthy now!

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